You're my little dorito
Me too!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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