I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
