Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize