What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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