Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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