that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
