the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
