it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
