He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
