I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
the raccoons are back...
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