Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
