In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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