DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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