lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
