So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
