All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
