There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
