S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sorry about my life...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
