bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm getting married
To pizza
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize