the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize