There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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