I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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