Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Randomize
