So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
