That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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