he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize