He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
