Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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