Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
