I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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