I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
