I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize