so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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