She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
