My room smells like vodka and shame
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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