how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
