By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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