I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
