thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ladies don't puke and tell
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
