I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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