i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
