How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
