from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
