but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
