Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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