In the future we'll all be gay
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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