Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have aggressive nipples.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
