Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
