More tranny stories later!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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