I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
