fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it because I queefed?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
