My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
