Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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