He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
