I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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