toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize