clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
