Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
